The Importance of Table Manners
By Deborah Joy Block, Certified Etiquette Consultant
Table Manners is a reflection of your character and social skills. It’s about respect for others and yourself. Employers are known to use dining interviews as a barometer for hiring and promoting especially for jobs that require a lot of client interface. Most people are too polite to tell you that you have bad table manners so the offender may just miss out on social and professional opportunities. Habits such as chewing with the mouth open, speaking with food in the mouth, reaching across people for things rather than asking they be passed, using fingers to push food on to the fork, licking the fingers are all examples of offensive dining etiquette. Table manners are a learned skill and can only help you. Dining etiquette varies from country to country. Etiquette means your “ticket” to social success. Food is important in every culture and signifies much more than just sustenance for survival. Food connects people through rituals and celebrations. Time and relationships are life’s most precious resources. The quality time you spend building bonds with others over a meal is priceless.
How Table Manners Affect Health
Busy schedules and the availability of on-the-go foods have reduced the amount of time we spend eating together at the table. But our table habits really do affect our — and our children’s — health. Here’s why:
- Not using proper manners can result in the spread of germs and illness.
- Eating casually from a package, or in a car, decreases our satisfaction with meals and makes us want to eat more.
- Eating from a plate, at a table, allows us to regulate portion size — both for ourselves and for our kids.
- Eliminating electronics during meals makes us eat with more awareness. When we pay attention to our food, we are more likely to enjoy it. This is true: watching television when you eat will make you eat more, but enjoy it less.
- If there are no electronics during a meal, you and your family will talk to each other. It’s true! And these frequent, casual conversations form the roots of important and protective relationships.
- Data suggest that eating meals as a family reduces risk-taking behaviors in teenagers.
- When children learn to eat with good manners, they will be less likely to offend, and more likely to impress, when they find themselves in pivotal social situations later on.
- Chewing slowly aids in digestion and weight management.
The Keys to Teaching Table Manners
So, at what age should we start teaching table manners? The answer might surprise you. We start teaching table manners the moment we sit our kids in a highchair and start feeding them with a spoon. There are two keys when it comes to teaching table manners to young children: repetition, and modeling. Young children don’t learn good habits quickly. Set the rules, keep them simple, and then repeat them a zillion times a week (as needed) until they’re mastered. (Be patient. This may take years.)
The second part, modeling, is harder. This means you have to lead by example. Like it or not, your children are learning table manners by watching yours. Do you want your children to eat slowly and politely, without shoveling in unregulated portions or nibbling straight from the package? You have to show them how at every meal. Do you want them to be mindful and enjoy their meals, without continually being distracted by texts or calls? Do you want them to make family conversations a priority? Then the dinner table needs to be no-phone time for you, too.
Table manners are a reflection of what people do when they are with others in a social setting. Why? For the simple reason that you want to be considerate to those around you. Table manners means living a life of consideration to the world around you. It means more than following social cues of the privileged. Instead, it means that you conduct yourself with dignity and respect yourself and those around you so that you look out for the best interests of others. Manners, in all areas of life, matter.
Sources: kidspluspgh.com, Quora