The Importance of Table Manners

by | Mar 16, 2021 | Uncategorized

By Deborah Joy Block, Certified Etiquette Consultant 

Table Manners is a reflection of your character and social skills. It’s about respect for others and yourself. Employers are known to use dining interviews as a barometer for hiring and promoting especially for jobs that require a lot of client interface. Most people are too polite to tell you that you have bad table manners so the offender may just miss out on social and professional opportunities. Habits such as chewing with the mouth open, speaking with food in the mouth, reaching across people for things rather than asking they be passed, using fingers to push food on to the fork, licking the fingers are all examples of offensive dining etiquette. Table manners are a learned skill and can only help you. Dining etiquette varies from country to country. Etiquette means your “ticket” to social success. Food is important in every culture and signifies much more than just sustenance for survival. Food connects people through rituals and celebrations. Time and relationships are life’s most precious resources. The quality time you spend building bonds with others over a meal is priceless. 
 
How Table Manners Affect Health 
Busy schedules and the availability of on-the-go foods have reduced the amount of time we spend eating together at the table. But our table habits really do affect our — and our children’s — health. Here’s why: 

  • Not using proper manners can result in the spread of germs and illness. 
  • Eating casually from a package, or in a car, decreases our satisfaction with meals and makes us want to eat more. 
  • Eating from a plate, at a table, allows us to regulate portion size — both for ourselves and for our kids. 
  • Eliminating electronics during meals makes us eat with more awareness. When we pay attention to our food, we are more likely to enjoy it. This is true: watching television when you eat will make you eat more, but enjoy it less. 
  • If there are no electronics during a meal, you and your family will talk to each other. It’s true! And these frequent, casual conversations form the roots of important and protective relationships. 
  • Data suggest that eating meals as a family reduces risk-taking behaviors in teenagers.
  • When children learn to eat with good manners, they will be less likely to offend, and more likely to impress, when they find themselves in pivotal social situations later on. 
  • Chewing slowly aids in digestion and weight management. 

The Keys to Teaching Table Manners 
So, at what age should we start teaching table manners? The answer might surprise you. We start teaching table manners the moment we sit our kids in a highchair and start feeding them with a spoon. There are two keys when it comes to teaching table manners to young children: repetition, and modeling. Young children don’t learn good habits quickly. Set the rules, keep them simple, and then repeat them a zillion times a week (as needed) until they’re mastered. (Be patient. This may take years.) 

The second part, modeling, is harder. This means you have to lead by example. Like it or not, your children are learning table manners by watching yours. Do you want your children to eat slowly and politely, without shoveling in unregulated portions or nibbling straight from the package? You have to show them how at every meal. Do you want them to be mindful and enjoy their meals, without continually being distracted by texts or calls? Do you want them to make family conversations a priority? Then the dinner table needs to be no-phone time for you, too. 

Table manners are a reflection of what people do when they are with others in a social setting. Why? For the simple reason that you want to be considerate to those around you. Table manners means living a life of consideration to the world around you. It means more than following social cues of the privileged. Instead, it means that you conduct yourself with dignity and respect yourself and those around you so that you look out for the best interests of others. Manners, in all areas of life, matter. 

Sources: kidspluspgh.com, Quora 

All Dressed Up and No Place to Go Go in the Spotlight!

by | Nov 11, 2014 | Uncategorized

by Deborah Joy Block, Director of Back to Basics Social Graces for Program

Have you heard of the fable about the Emperor with no clothes? He travels through his kingdom making proclamations but his omission obscures his message. Unaware of his nakedness and with nobody daring to inform him, his nonverbal communication speaks volumes. Watching the Homecoming King and Queen,  a newly married couple or the First Couple at the Inauguration ball to the "bear hug sway" for their First Dance debut is equally awkward. These couples are royalty for the day and the dance floor spotlight is the most visibly dynamic kick off to the gala which officially invites all the other attendees to join the festivities on the dance floor.  In this comparison, both the Emperor and the couples being spotlighted have missed the opportunity to put their best foot forward.

Stepping through the dance studio door and admitting you need lessons to be able to dance as a partnership with someone else doesn't occur to most teens and is often the hardest part for people, especially males.  For those who rarely have dance training in childhood. I ask them what their alternative plan is, and they respond, "The high school prom sway."  I suggested that before settling on a decision, they should videotape themselves and see if they can last the full length (a typical song is 3:45) without feeling bored or awkward, then watch the full-length dance on video from their guest's perspective too.

 

According to proper etiquette, The First Dance is a formal obligation of hosts to open up the dance floor for the rest of the guests to feel welcome and comfortable to dance and set the tone for the festivities. It is also the epitome of the Cinderella/Prince Charming moment at their ball. Unfortunately, many don't realize that the awkward high school prom sway for 4 minutes in front of 200 people is not a desirable alternative to skipping dance lessons. Cutting the "bear hug sway" down to 90 seconds isn't fooling anyone either. It just says that you are all dressed up with no place to go. There are countless reasons a person can conjure up to talk him/herself out of dance lessons but for every reason not to there are double the reason to go for it!

The dance lessons are a vulnerable space where couples learn about themselves and their partnership and where they learn appropriate boundaries or respectful physical contact unlike twerking, bump and grind or freaking which are not only degrading but will get teens kicked out of the prom by chaperones. The dance lessons actually benefit and bleed into all of the above areas in useful ways that can be incorporated as a life skill for future occassions besides the prom. Can you imagine a speech with no microphone for all of the audience to be able hear? Unthinkable. Dance moves give voice to the First Dance and elevate the music to a higher level. So face the music and dance!

Deborah Joy Block is the Founder and Director of Back to Basics Social Graces Youth Program.   Block's company has taught over 10,000 students of all ages. Block is most known for being the premier national expert on wedding dance preparation and founded the nation's first wedding dance company called The Wedding Dance Specialists, which has attracted celebrity couples and national media attention. Deborah Block is available for guest blogging, interviews, and to teach on or off-site social skills programs.