Life Coaching: Self Discipline Using a Routine

by | Oct 21, 2020 | Uncategorized

A routine is a personal tool and form of self care that helps you stay organized and accountable. It improves your productivity and inspires you to stay on track. Here is a sample routine:


Get 8 hours sleep. Wake up 3 hours before your work day
Say a morning gratitude prayer and write in a gratitude journal and give charity.
Make the bed
Exercise - 6 days a week
Hot & Cold Shower
Dress - consider hiring a stylist to design a capsule wardrobe so you can efficiently shop your closet
Breakfast - eat organic and homemade, avoid processed foods
Daily commute - ride a bike or walk to work for extra exercise, listen to audio books or a podcast, create to do list, write thank you notes, write in a "push" journal, watch a documentary or read during your commute to work or work remotely to save time, money and energy
Work
Lunch break - eat, meditation, yoga stretches, power nap, network, go for a walk in nature
Work
Gratitude prayer and eat dinner - network or socialize with others
Evenings and weekends - Take a break from technology an hour before bed, hobby, charity work, Side Hustle, Spirituality, Light Housework, Family Time, Soothing bath with dead sea salt or epsom salt. Hire a cleaning service to outsource heavy housework or do it yourself and invest the savings. Batch meals and freeze them on the weekends in advance, use a slow cooker or get meal kits to streamline meal preparation. Get weekly deep tissue massages. Take at least one day off from work each week.
Bedtime - Read a book, meditate, yoga stretches, night time prayer

Parental Advisory: Cartoon Review

by | Oct 10, 2018 | Uncategorized

Child Safety: Toxic Media Exposure: Baldi Cartoon Review

You've heard the expression: Garbage in, garbage out. That is what a lot of the mainstream cartoons offer your child. Garbage values replete with conditioned responses, desensitization, shortened attention spans, agitation, violent tendencies and psychological grooming. When it comes to feeding your child's brain and values there is no grey. Either the programming has a positive and educational value or it is mindless and often subversive. Think about WHO is writing the script and what their purpose is and be very DELIBERATE is selecting what media your child has access to. If you don't have the time to research quality programming, unplug your child and encourage your child to play outdoors, get a hobby, visit the library, join a club or read a book.

Your child can access these cartoons for free on YouTube. I have not seen the video game nor watched many of these Baldi cartoons but just three was enough to signal red flags and make me very uncomfortable with the idea of sharing these cartoons with impressionable children. Some of the Baldi cartoons come with a disclaimer warning that it is a horror show but not all. Regardless, it is far more insidious than most would assume. As a social skills and etiquette coach I think this is a gratuitously dark, toxic, violent and negative cartoon for ALL kids and is particularly inappropriate where faith based education is a priority for programming. It's not like Superman where the star character has a positive goal to save humanity and has a couple of violent fights and wins against evil villains. Baldi depicts role models of authority like teachers and parents as the villain and glorifies killing them or disrespecting them as a victory while nonstop violence every 30 seconds like clockwork IS the storyline. This subversive cartoon and animation game sends subliminal and often very obvious messaging encouraging sadistic and anarchistic behavior but Baldi also includes hints at or blatantly depicts child abuse, pedophilia and suicide.

I spoke with one pre-teen child who watched this cartoon and sympathized with the abusive teacher who was beating students with rulers. The child said it reminded him of domestic violence in his family. The violence also inspired him to be abusive toward his own mother and he later exhibited suicidal ideation and planning. He discouraged me from watching the cartoon with him because he said he knew I wouldn't like it. Very confusing for children. If your child is struggling with mental health issues like depression, anxiety, drug abuse, suicidality then this Baldi cartoon is particularly dangerous as it depicts suicide and child abuse.

So many adults are desensitized to foul language, hypersexuality, subliminal messaging and violence because they expose themselves to it so much that they may struggle to effectively shield their children from it. Parents may also feel guilt that if they are watching toxic programming then they are being hypocritical by not allowing their children to do so as well. The bottom line is there are MILLIONS of positive activities all of us can be focused on without self medicating with negative media and exposing our children to it.

For those parents who want faith based programming for their children, Baldi's cartoon emphasizes pagan traditions of zombies and a fixation on death which encourages an atmosphere of violence and corrupts a spiritual soul. There is gratuitous and graphic violence every 30 seconds while pretending to teach a math lesson. Thus teaching children an aversion to Math. Other disturbing aspects of the cartoons (which are inspired by a video game) are the use of foul language like "Sh*t" and taking the Lord's name in vain. A red pentagram reminiscent of pagan, neo-pagan and Satanic symbols.

Children deserve to have an innocent childhood for healthy brain development. There are so many positive curriculum and entertainment options that the goal should be to saturate one's child with empowering and positive programming not this mindless and insidious drivel. For example, google "homeschooling resources" or "homeschooling cartoons" and free educational, entertaining and fun videos are available like the one below that teaches children basic concepts about being responsible with money. The key to beating a bad habit is to replace it with a good one and to CAREFULLY screen EVERYTHING your child views FIRST. Your child will be addicted to all of the positivity and brain stimulating lessons in no time - they just need you to show them where to look!!

Compare the first good example video with the poor one below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_Jni0BBhpI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wQXNlhprv0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wQXNlhprv0

Communication Skills: Negotiations in Personal and Professional Life.

by | Feb 15, 2018 | Uncategorized

Whether you are asking for a raise at work or requesting that your spouse be more considerate at home, life is a negotiation. “Uncomfortable” conversations will be more effective if they are structured and premeditated rather than improvised. Here are a few guidelines that can help you navigate the tense terrain.

  1. Schedule a time for the conversation – don’t drop a bomb on someone when they least expect it or catch them at an inconvenient time when they will brush you off. Find a time that is mutually conducive to both parties so everyone will be receptive and set aside the time.
  2. Establish ground rules:  Communication should not be a free for all chaotic endeavor that results in verbal abuse and hurt feelings or worse. Techniques such as “I messages”, active listening, no interrupting, taking notes, write down points of agreement/compromise, stick to a timetable, stick to the subject
  3. Schedule a followup meeting to discuss the progress of all topics raised
  4. Schedule a separate meeting for unrelated topics
  5. Don’t carry the conversation over past the meeting time.
  6. Use consistent eye contact and a neutral tone of voice and body language.

Here are a few articles about effective communication skills:

https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/9-effective-communication-skills/

https://www.habitsforwellbeing.com/engaged-feedback-checklist-by-dr-brene-brown/

https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm

All Dressed Up and No Place to Go Go in the Spotlight!

by | Nov 11, 2014 | Uncategorized

by Deborah Joy Block, Director of Back to Basics Social Graces for Program

Have you heard of the fable about the Emperor with no clothes? He travels through his kingdom making proclamations but his omission obscures his message. Unaware of his nakedness and with nobody daring to inform him, his nonverbal communication speaks volumes. Watching the Homecoming King and Queen,  a newly married couple or the First Couple at the Inauguration ball to the "bear hug sway" for their First Dance debut is equally awkward. These couples are royalty for the day and the dance floor spotlight is the most visibly dynamic kick off to the gala which officially invites all the other attendees to join the festivities on the dance floor.  In this comparison, both the Emperor and the couples being spotlighted have missed the opportunity to put their best foot forward.

Stepping through the dance studio door and admitting you need lessons to be able to dance as a partnership with someone else doesn't occur to most teens and is often the hardest part for people, especially males.  For those who rarely have dance training in childhood. I ask them what their alternative plan is, and they respond, "The high school prom sway."  I suggested that before settling on a decision, they should videotape themselves and see if they can last the full length (a typical song is 3:45) without feeling bored or awkward, then watch the full-length dance on video from their guest's perspective too.

 

According to proper etiquette, The First Dance is a formal obligation of hosts to open up the dance floor for the rest of the guests to feel welcome and comfortable to dance and set the tone for the festivities. It is also the epitome of the Cinderella/Prince Charming moment at their ball. Unfortunately, many don't realize that the awkward high school prom sway for 4 minutes in front of 200 people is not a desirable alternative to skipping dance lessons. Cutting the "bear hug sway" down to 90 seconds isn't fooling anyone either. It just says that you are all dressed up with no place to go. There are countless reasons a person can conjure up to talk him/herself out of dance lessons but for every reason not to there are double the reason to go for it!

The dance lessons are a vulnerable space where couples learn about themselves and their partnership and where they learn appropriate boundaries or respectful physical contact unlike twerking, bump and grind or freaking which are not only degrading but will get teens kicked out of the prom by chaperones. The dance lessons actually benefit and bleed into all of the above areas in useful ways that can be incorporated as a life skill for future occassions besides the prom. Can you imagine a speech with no microphone for all of the audience to be able hear? Unthinkable. Dance moves give voice to the First Dance and elevate the music to a higher level. So face the music and dance!

Deborah Joy Block is the Founder and Director of Back to Basics Social Graces Youth Program.   Block's company has taught over 10,000 students of all ages. Block is most known for being the premier national expert on wedding dance preparation and founded the nation's first wedding dance company called The Wedding Dance Specialists, which has attracted celebrity couples and national media attention. Deborah Block is available for guest blogging, interviews, and to teach on or off-site social skills programs.

Dance Studio Etiquette for Teachers and Students

by | Nov 2, 2014 | Uncategorized

DANCE STUDIO ETIQUETTE FOR TEACHERS

by Deborah Joy Block, certified etiquette instructor and professional dance instructor/performer

There are lots of articles about social dance party and class etiquette for students and a few about ballet student etiquette but despite the fact that ballroom studios have existed in this country for over 100 years it is quite rare to find an article on the subject of professional guidance for dance instructor etiquette . Unfortunately, common sense does not always prevail in a room full of “divas” so an official etiquette rule book is required. These tips are designed to ensure a pleasant work environment and high quality lessons for optimal customer satisfaction. Studio landlords, feel free to copy this and post it or distribute it to your staff. I hope you will find it a useful resource to maintain a peaceful and pleasant studio atmosphere! Feel free to add your own etiquette suggestions (without specifically IDENTIFYING individuals as that is ALSO a breach of etiquette and your comment will be deleted.) Enjoy!

  1. If space allows, set up speakers & use mirrors at OPPOSITE CORNERS of the studio NOT NEXT to another lesson already in progress.
  2. Once all 4 corners are full THEN fill in the middle sections to avoid creating a crowded, distracting and dangerous teaching environment.
  3. If you need to play music LOUDLY or NONSTOP while rehearsing SOLO routines directly next to ongoing lessons please use EARPHONES.
  4. GROUP lessons requires MORE space and are noisier so either rent the whole room or do NOT teach middle sections. Simply swap positions with your neighbors.
  5. If you set yourself beside a privacy curtain assume that your neighbors may expect you to use it or else switch places with them so others can take advantage of the amenity.
  6. Rent space during non peak hours (anytime BEFORE 6pm) if you are teaching tap or flamenco, drumming, zills or other loud percussive dances. Anything after 6pm requires that you rent the entire back room as you are making it IMPOSSIBLE for others to teach next to you.
  7. Be mindful of volume levels and speaker location/angle or take turns if nobody is able to hear their music. If your speakers are poor quality bring A/V wires to take advantage of the many speakers the studio offers. If the bass is adjustable set it to MEDIUM.
  8. Approach management with unresolvable complaints rather than gossiping or cyber bullying on social media as that damages the studio reputation and creates a toxic work climate.
  9. Ask permission before adjusting the teaching environment –curtains, lights, fans, borrowing speakers, using overhead speakers, adjusting temperature climate, closing or opening blinds or windows, switching music, etc…
  10. Due to the high risk, direct contact nature of our jobs, use sanitizer or wash hands frequently to prevent spreading germs around the studio.
  11. Turn your music OFF when not teaching or dancing to minimize the overall noise in the room. Don’t leave music playing unattended.
  12. Don’t leave your belongings around the studio to “save” a space indefinitely. Let your neighbors know when you plan to return.

Please use common sense and good etiquette to be part of the SOLUTION be creating a FUN environment for yourself, colleagues and clients that is friendly and respectful so clients, staff and renters will recommend and return to support your studio and share in your passion for dancing!

Deborah Joy Block is a professional ballroom dance performer and instructor with 17 years of teaching experience with close to 10,000 students.  Throughout her career, Block has had 30 professional instructors on her staff including international competitors and world champions. Block has a Bachelors in Public Relations/Communications and Business from James Madison University and received her certification in etiquette from  the American School of Protocol in Atlanta, Georgia with 10 years of experience as the Director of Back to Basics Manners Social Graces Program teaching for the DC metro community and local public and private school systems. Deborah Joy Block, is also the Founder of The Wedding Dance Specialists – the first wedding dance company in the nation. She is recognized by the media, wedding industry leaders and engaged couples as the premiere national expert of the wedding dance industry. The Wedding Dance Specialists inspired the entire niche industry to expand worldwide! Ms. Block is available for interviews, guest blogging, consulting and teaching etiquette and social dance instruction in the DC metro area or worldwide!