by Deborah J Block, Certified Etiquette Consultant
Many people have a fear of public speaking. With a little practice it can become more natural. Here are a few fun ice breaker exercises that can make public speaking easier and more natural. These are particularly helpful for kids.
1. Make A Commercial
Get a bunch of things from your room or from your house, bring them in and you need to make a commercial about these items. Someone is giving a random product. It might be a deodorant, might be an iphone, it could be anything. And then they are required to give a 30 second to 1 minute commercial on this product and talk about why this is so awesome and why people should buy it. So that’s a really fun one as well.
2. Random Nouns You can do this by either putting nouns on key cards shuffling them up and picking 2 up at a time or you can use this random noun generator. You get 2 nouns and you then have to create a story that connects those 2 nouns. It might be ‘a sheep’ and ‘a mechanic’ or it could be ‘friend’ and ‘shoelace’. Then you have to create a story that connects those 2 nouns together.
3. Which Is a Lie?
This one is generally pretty easy to work out and a lot of fun as well. And you will find that some students do it really well, but then some students just fumble when they are trying to lie and its quite humorous to watch. A person gets up and tells 3 truths about themselves, but 2 of them need to be true and one of them needs to be a lie. So they get up and they tell 3 things about themselves and then the audience needs to choose which one was a lie and they see if they were correct.
4. Make Your Own Definitions Speaking Game Get really big words that nobody really knows what the meaning is. You can do this using this big word generator or another tool (just Google it). Or you can just go through the dictionary and pick some strange ones yourself. The speaker has to get up – they are given this strange word and they need to with confidence tell the class what this word means. Obviously they are making it up, but they need to do it confidently. https://www.wordgenerator.net/random-word-generator.php
5. A. Interview Introductions The exercise has them finding out about each other and then introducing the person they interviewed to the whole group. As it's a lot less threatening or scary to talk about someone else rather than yourself, you'll find people respond really positively as they're generally eager to represent the person they interviewed well. Divide your group into pairs. Each person interviews the other in turn. The information gained forms the basis of a brief introduction speech they'll give to the whole group when the interviewing process is complete. Allow 5 minutes per person.
Ask them to find out their partner's name, where they live/work, what hobbies they have, what their favorite book, film, song...is, what they're most proud of (an achievement perhaps), what they hope for from the class, something funny that happened in their childhood, where they go for holidays, what they think about the latest local issue, etc...
B. My Friend’s Fictional Life
In this activity, what you do is you get up in front of people and you take one of your friends and you introduce them. However, instead of introducing them in the normal way you make up a fictional life for them. So you say, hi this is Jane Smith, and she actually moonlights as a jazz pianist for the underground mafia. And you talk about her life, whatever it may be. So this is fun because it makes you been creative, it’s very easy to think of these things on the spot and just roll with it. It’s generally pretty funny as well.
6. Picture Prompts
Pick any picture, like the one above, and ask:
Who? (Who is this child? Who are her parents? Who is she running away from?)
What? (What is she doing? What's the name of the plush toy she's carrying?)
When? (When did this happen?)
Why? (Why is this child out on the road by herself with her toy?)
Where? (Where is this? Where are her parents?)
How? (How is this story likely to end? How does this child feel?)
Same picture. Different story: This time all the people in your group are going to use exactly the same picture. And each one will tell a different story.
1) Mistakes: Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and awkward moments happen. Try not to step on anyone else’s toes but have a good attitude if it happens. Smile, make a quick apology, and move on. Never accuse the other person of always being at fault. This makes you seem like an arrogant know-it-all. When things go wrong, apologize. If you bump into someone, or step on someone’s foot, tell them you’re sorry. Don’t just ignore them.
2) Conversation: Chatting should be off the dance floor. If you’d like to talk, do it off the dance floor. The focus should be on dancing well and being aware of your surroundings. Invite your dance partner to rest and enjoy a beverage after the dance so you can chat and get to know eachother better. Dancing is nonverbal communication.
3)Dance Flow
On most ballroom floors, you will be expected to move in a counter-clockwise direction. If everyone complies, you aren’t as likely to bump into another couple. However, if you do, smile and apologize. This is not the place to have a chip on your shoulder and start a fight. Even if everyone moves in the same direction, you’ll have accidents. If you have a temper, practice apologizing and saying, "Excuse me," before you leave your house so you won’t embarrass your partner or the other couple when it happens on the floor. If you are a slow dancer, stay toward the center of the floor and leave the outer rim to the faster dancers. Don’t clog up the main line of dance. Cross the dance floor around the perimeter. Don’t cut through. I’ve seen people walk across the middle of the ballroom dance floor holding drinks. Not good.
4) Clean up your mess. So, if you are carrying some drinks and you do spill something, clean it up before some dancer slips and gets hurt.
5) Personal hygiene: Make sure you don’t have bad body odor or bad breath. Make sure you take a shower, brush your teeth, and have breath mints. You will be in close quarters, and you don’t want people holding their breath when they are around you. Use a deodorant that is strong enough to last as long as you’ll be dancing. Avoid smoking if possible. If you must have a cigarette, go outside, but before you go back in, pop a breath mint. Remember that the smells will linger on your clothing and in your hair.
6) Dance at your partner’s ability: If you are an experienced ballroom dance leader dancing with a beginner follower, don’t expect her to do advanced moves. Build the dance. Start with easy stuff. Once you see that she’s with the timing and following easy patters, try advancing to more difficult ones. If she has difficulty doing one turn, don’t lead her in to a double turn.
7) Sneezing and coughing while dancing: This does happen. Always sneeze or cough into the underside of your elbow. Do not sneeze into your hand and then ask her to take that hand for dancing.
8) Gum: Don’t chew gum while dancing. This is annoying to your partner. ls like. It also doesn’t look elegant. Have you ever seen Fred Astaire chew gum while he dances? 9).Grooming and Attire: Before you go to the dance, find out what the dress code is. You don’t want to show up in jeans to a white tie affair. Make sure you are wearing comfortable shoes since you will be on your feet most of the time, but don't wear sneakers.
10).Invitation to Dance:
In ballroom dance, it doesn’t matter who asks for the dance. It is perfectly acceptable for the man or the woman to approach the other. You don’t have to stay with your date either. Most dancers enjoy a variety of partners on the dance floor, so have an agreement with your date about how frequently you’ll dance with others.
11).Invitation to dance: Use appropriate language to ask someone to dance. Avoid using cheesy pickup lines at a ballroom event. Here are some easy and to-the-point ways to ask someone to dance:
May I have this dance?
Would you care to dance?
Would you like to waltz?
When you attend a ballroom dance, it’s generally good form to accept a dance with anyone who asks unless you have a very good reason not to. If you have already promised the dance to someone else, you are thirsty, you need to catch your breath from the last dance, or your foot is swelling, the person asking will understand.
If you ask someone to dance, and he or she declines, smile and say, “Thank you. Maybe later.” Don’t be afraid to ask again. However, if you are turned down three times in one evening, graciously take the hint and don’t ask that person again.
12).Show Appreciation:
After the dance is over, thank the other person and applaud all the dancers. The man should walk the woman back to where she was before the dance started, even if she asked him to dance unless she requests otherwise.
13).Compliments: Acknowledge other people’s accomplishments. Praise your partner or another couple for executing a complicated ballroom step. If there is a competition, congratulate the winning couple. 14. Modesty: Maintain respect for personal space and boundaries. Keep your hands above the hips and no vulgar dancing.
Sources:
dancefeverstudios.com/ballroom-dance-etiquette/
Proper Etiquette While Ballroom Dancing (thespruce.com)
By Deborah Joy Block, Certified Etiquette Consultant
Table Manners is a reflection of your character and social skills. It’s about respect for others and yourself. Employers are known to use dining interviews as a barometer for hiring and promoting especially for jobs that require a lot of client interface. Most people are too polite to tell you that you have bad table manners so the offender may just miss out on social and professional opportunities. Habits such as chewing with the mouth open, speaking with food in the mouth, reaching across people for things rather than asking they be passed, using fingers to push food on to the fork, licking the fingers are all examples of offensive dining etiquette. Table manners are a learned skill and can only help you. Dining etiquette varies from country to country. Etiquette means your “ticket” to social success. Food is important in every culture and signifies much more than just sustenance for survival. Food connects people through rituals and celebrations. Time and relationships are life’s most precious resources. The quality time you spend building bonds with others over a meal is priceless.
How Table Manners Affect Health Busy schedules and the availability of on-the-go foods have reduced the amount of time we spend eating together at the table. But our table habits really do affect our — and our children’s — health. Here’s why:
Not using proper manners can result in the spread of germs and illness.
Eating casually from a package, or in a car, decreases our satisfaction with meals and makes us want to eat more.
Eating from a plate, at a table, allows us to regulate portion size — both for ourselves and for our kids.
Eliminating electronics during meals makes us eat with more awareness. When we pay attention to our food, we are more likely to enjoy it. This is true: watching television when you eat will make you eat more, but enjoy it less.
If there are no electronics during a meal, you and your family will talk to each other. It’s true! And these frequent, casual conversations form the roots of important and protective relationships.
Data suggest that eating meals as a family reduces risk-taking behaviors in teenagers.
When children learn to eat with good manners, they will be less likely to offend, and more likely to impress, when they find themselves in pivotal social situations later on.
Chewing slowly aids in digestion and weight management.
The Keys to Teaching Table Manners So, at what age should we start teaching table manners? The answer might surprise you. We start teaching table manners the moment we sit our kids in a highchair and start feeding them with a spoon. There are two keys when it comes to teaching table manners to young children: repetition, and modeling. Young children don’t learn good habits quickly. Set the rules, keep them simple, and then repeat them a zillion times a week (as needed) until they’re mastered. (Be patient. This may take years.)
The second part, modeling, is harder. This means you have to lead by example. Like it or not, your children are learning table manners by watching yours. Do you want your children to eat slowly and politely, without shoveling in unregulated portions or nibbling straight from the package? You have to show them how at every meal. Do you want them to be mindful and enjoy their meals, without continually being distracted by texts or calls? Do you want them to make family conversations a priority? Then the dinner table needs to be no-phone time for you, too.
Table manners are a reflection of what people do when they are with others in a social setting. Why? For the simple reason that you want to be considerate to those around you. Table manners means living a life of consideration to the world around you. It means more than following social cues of the privileged. Instead, it means that you conduct yourself with dignity and respect yourself and those around you so that you look out for the best interests of others. Manners, in all areas of life, matter.
Practical, Spiritual and Societal Benefits of Marriage Congratulations on finding your soul mate! It is truly a blessing to marry your best friend. Your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life but it’s only the beginning of an amazing journey. Marriage, the union of two people, is a sacred and personal but, not private relationship as it has great public significance. Marriage is good for the couple and it also provides the optimal conditions for bearing and raising children. Marriage makes an essential contribution to the common good of society. Some specific benefits are identified below. Virginia does not allow the creation of a “common law” marriage, a relationship in which a couple lives together but have not participated in a lawful ceremony. Unlike some other states, in Virginia a couple cannot acquire marital rights and responsibilities by living together for a particular period of time. For example, as a domestic partner, you cannot collect your partner’s social security. Read on for the many benefits of a lawful marriage.
Sex gets even hotter: By now you've learned each other's hot spots and pleasure zones and you really know and trust each other. What you may have wondered about before can be something you work out together. Little is off limits and you don't worry about being judged when you express your needs and desires. Your appreciation for one another grows: You may have appreciated the gestures your partner did while you were dating but his loyalty and commitment holds even more weight when you are juggling a busy household together or navigating stressful moments in life which inevitably arise in marriage. Plus when you see some of your other friend's partners, you may just appreciate how awesome yours is.
The love you feel gets even stronger: The reality is that falling in love and being in love are very different chemically in our brains so don't expect the daily fireworks you had in the first year of dating. In many ways though your love can grow deeper and stronger through time. And even though you may not want to makeout all the time like you used to, you can still find time for novelty, play and adventure. Marriage magnifies everything. Some of your partners quirks become more irritating but your partners strengths will become even greater as you grow closer. In a good relationship you grow together and make each other better people. Marriage and Health: On average, husbands and wives are healthier, happier and enjoy longer lives than those who are not married. Men appear to reap the most physical health benefits from marriage and suffer the greatest health consequences of divorce. Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabitating mothers, probably because they are more likely to receive practical and emotional support from their child's father and his family.
Marriage and Wealth: Married couples build more wealth on average than singles or cohabiting couples. Married men earn more money than single men with similar education and job histories. Married women are economically better off than divorced, cohabiting or never married women.
Marriage and children: Children raised by their own married mother and father are less likely to be poor or to experience persistent economic insecurity, more likely to stay in school, have fewer behavioral and attendence problems and earn four year college degrees. They are less vulnerable to serious emotional illness like depression and suicide and are more likely to have positive attitudes towards marriage and greater success in forming lasting marriages.
Marriage and Crime/Domestic Violence: Married women are at lower risk for domestic violence than women in cohabiting or dating relationships. Boys raised in single parent homes are more likely to engage in criminal and delinquent behavior than those raised by two married biological parents. Married women are significantly less likely to be the victims of violent crime than single or divorced women. Married men are less likely to perpetrate violent crimes than unmarried men.
Marriage and Society: The institution of marriage reliably creates the social, economic and affective conditions for effective parenting. Being married changes people's lifestyles and habits in ways that are personally and socially beneficial. Marriage is a seedbed of prosocial behavior. Being married changes peoples lifestyles and habits in ways that are personally and socially beneficial. Marriage is a seedbed of prosocial behavior. Marriages generates social capital. The social bonds created through marriage yield benefits not only for the family but for others as well including the larger society.
Marriage and money: Married couples qualify for an estate tax marital deduction. When one spouse dies, his or her estate passes to the surviving spouse, tax-free. That's not true for domestic partners. However there is a marital income tax penalty as you are taxed in a higher bracket as the government considers your incomes combined. You'll qualify for the gift tax marital deduction. As long as your spouse is a US citizen you can make tax free gifts of any amount to him or her. Unmarried couples may be surprised to find out that they owe gift taxes as a result of making gifts or supporting each other. You can roll over a deceased spouse's IRA to the surviving spouses's IRA. If your significant other dies with an IRA and you arent married you'll have to start taking distributions immediately regardless of your age. A surviving spouse has the option to roll over the IRA into his or her own IRA which makes it possible for a younger surviving spouse to postpone minimum distributions until a certain age. Married individuals can contribute to a spousal IRA. If you are a domestic partner and you don't work, you can't contribute to an IRA for retirement savings since you have no earned income. However if you're married and you have a working spouse, the non working spouse can use the working spouses income to qualify for IRA contributions. Married persons can receive survivors benefits from a pension plan. If your spouse is lucky enough to have a pension and they've elected to have survivors benefits, you will continue receiving pension benefits after he or she dies. You can receive the social security benefits of your spouse once he/she has died. You'll save on health insurance. Usually plans for onne plus a spouse a re cheaper than if you each have your own plan especially if it is an employer sponsored plan. This is especially helpful if one of you qualifies through your employer and you can bring the spouse on board with the plan coverage. If both of you are self employed however, health insurance is prohibitively expensive and your join income will likely disqualifiy you from Obamacare subsidies.
Marriage and the Law: If your significant other is in the hospital, you may have more difficulty visiting him if you aren't a blood relation or a legal spouse. And if a judge has to name someone to make healthcare or financial deciasions on behalf of your partner, you may be overlooked in favor of a parent or sibling if you aren't married. You have more protection if your spouse dies. If one passes away without a will the state is going to dictate where your assets go. If your significant other still has parents and sibling in the equation they may receive assets over a boyfriend or girlfriend. Prenuptial Agreement benefits - it's presumed under the law that when two people get married they are creating an economomic partnership. Filing taxes jointly may or may not help you depending on how much income each person earns.
Marriage and Expectations: Old assumptions may melt away. Individuals previously fearful of committment may find intimacy to be very healing. Feminists that were previously opposed to changing their names or reticent to have children may find themselves softening and welcome these changes as a beautiful gift, as the love grows the urge to bring more love into the family increases and she sees the many blessings of relying on someone special to be her soft place to fall.
Sources: Why Marriage Matters, Twenty Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences, Healthy Marriages, Healthy lives, National Marriage Project, 13 Legal Benefits of Marriage
Whether you are just entering the dating scene or are a seasoned veteran, it's a good idea to always follow proper etiquette with your dates. After all, you'll make a better first impression if you are concerned about making the other person comfortable, which is what dating etiquette is all about. Just as there are rules in virtually any game that is played, the dating game involves rules as well.
Be on Time If you show up to the date half an hour late with no explanation, you're already starting off on the wrong foot. It's rude to keep anyone waiting, especially your date. If you know you will be running behind, let your date know ahead of time.
Be Polite No matter what type of day you've had, be polite to your date. This rule is true whether this is your first date or your eighty-first date. Dates are supposed to be enjoyable, not uncomfortable. You should also be polite to the other people you encounter on your date, including servers. You will undoubtedly make your date feel uneasy if you snap at the waitress.
Modesty Exercise restraint and respect boundaries. In traditional cultures physical touch is not permitted until marriage. In modern secular relationships it is still best to take things slow. and reserve intimate contact for when your intimate feelings are aligned. Don't jump past first base to third. Unless you've already established a monogomous relationship with your sweetie, don't become "all hands." This is one of the quickest ways to make someone incredibly uncomfortable. If this is your first date, it is best to avoid any physical contact at all. On a similar note, it is generally considered rude to ask questions about your date's sexual past when the two of you are in the getting-to-know-you stage.
Ask Questions Do ask his/her opinion and find out about the other person. Avoid a long monologue about your history, especially if it isn't followed up by asking about your date's history. If you act as if the date is all about you, you may quickly find yourself alone.
Who Pays for the Date If you were the person to issue the invitation and initiate the date, you should be the person to pick up the cost of the date. This is true regardless of your gender even though in the past it was considered the norm for the man to pay for the date. If you do not want to pay for everything, make this clear when you first suggest the date. Never assume that the other person is going to pick up the check.
Look Nice Do consider your attire and hygiene. This doesn't mean you have to blow your savings on a designer suit. Anyone can put on a clean shirt and pressed pants. Dress appropriately for the date and show that you put some effort into your appearance. You should have enough respect for your date to be in clean clothes, smelling nice and have your hair brushed. Dress to impress. You may not feel like dressing up or trying to impress your date, but he may be expecting more than jeans and an old t-shirt. If a man is buying you a nice dinner or dressing up for you, show your appreciation by freshening up before you go on your date. It is a nice gesture, especially since men really enjoy seeing the woman they are taking out all dressed up. If fashion is not your thing, hire an image consultant/stylist to help you with your wardrobe, hair, makeup and accessories.
Be Considerate Make eye contact to demonstrate your interest in your date. Be respectful of your date if you smoke and don't force your date to experience second-hand smoke. Also, if you take your date somewhere, don't abandon him or her. Your date should feel important to you. Consider the place you are thinking about taking them and whether they would enjoy it.
Be Honest Be yourself and don't pretend to be someone you are not. You want to present an accurate portrayal of who you really are while also putting your best foot forward. You should be transparent in your goals for dating. Are you looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage and children or do you just want to date casually. You also want to be honest with your date and let them know, as kindly as possible, that you are not interested in continuing the relationship if you aren't feeling a spark.. It takes courage for a someone to step out of their comfort zone and invite someone on a date, so be honest and straightforward with him/her. Don’t play games by acting as though you are interested in him/her or not interested in him. It is also important to maintain your integrity while on your date. If the two of you just don't seem to click, do not make promises that you will see each other again or that you will call tomorrow. A simple, "It was nice to meet you" is the best way to end a night that you do not want to repeat.
Do Mention Preferences and Restrictions If you are on a specific diet or have unique food restrictions, let your date know before meeting up with them. Consider making a suggestion yourself so your date doesn't feel overwhelmed.
Dating Etiquette for Guys Traditional dating required the man to initiate everything but modern dating styles allow for more flexibility. Basic chivalry is still a kind gesture like the man rising when the woman enters the room, men pulling out a woman's chair, opening doors for them, or helping them into or out of the car. This is a man's way of treasuring the woman as special and behaving as a gentleman.
Dating Etiquette For Ladies Sometimes women feel pressure to continue on with their date even if they are feeling zero connection with them. Check in with yourself and know that it is okay to be honest with your date about your feelings. If you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe at any point during your date, trust your gut and remove yourself from the situation. Always let a friend know your location prior to the date just to be extra safe and meet in public the first time you go out together. Also if you are interested, don’t Chase Him. Don’t rush the relationship or try to move along the relationship at an uncomfortable pace. Let the man be the pursuer, and wait for him to contact you. Women are sometimes ready to express their feelings much earlier in their relationships than men are, so don’t pressure him to express his feelings prematurely.
Compliments Don't get so nervous about following dating rules that you forget some other basic principles. Compliment your date! There is a good chance he or she took some extra time to get ready for this date, so find something you can compliment. A simple, "You like nice!" can do wonders for boosting your date's confidence. Compliments also make a great ice breaker.
Give the Process a Chance. You may have had a long week at work, and you may be tired of the dating scene, but if you have agreed to go out on a date, you need to put your best foot forward. The man you are going out with may have been looking forward to this date all week, and perhaps had to step out of his comfort zone to ask you out. Have a good attitude and an open mind while you are on the date. Make eye contact and show your date that you are interested in what he/she has to say. You could end up having the night of your life!
Don’t Talk About Old Relationships. There is no bigger turnoff than someone talking about his/her ex. If you say something positive about an old flame, it shows that you admire him/her and may still have feelings for him/her. On the other hand, if you say something negative, how does your date know that you won’t do the same to him/her?
Drink in Moderation. You don’t want to come off as though you have a drinking problem, which may be a red flag for your date. Most importantly, you need to make sure you are thinking straight. If you are out on a first date, you do not want to make yourself vulnerable with a stranger by having too much to drink.
End the Date if Necessary. If the date is going on too long, and you are ready to go home, it’s okay if you end the date. Just say that you are ready to call it a night. If you do not plan on going on a second date, don’t hint that a second date is a possibility. There is no reason to carry on the date through coffee and dessert if it is miserable and not going anywhere. Your date may appreciate your honesty, and the end to a rough night.
9 Simple Rules of Proper Dating Etiquette | LoveToKnow.com Dating Etiquette and Rules for Women - First & Second Dates (moneycrashers.com)
