Life Coaching: Happiness is Perspective

by | Nov 20, 2020 | Uncategorized

by Deborah Joy Block, Certified Life Coach

Happy people earn more money, are more creative, have more successful marriages, learn faster, live longer, are predisposed to self discipline and self mastery, are more enthusiastic, tend to be more religiously observant, recover from illness faster, are more generous and are better leaders.

Material blessings are a gift from G-d but not the only vehicle to happiness. Money does affect your happiness and it expands your options up to a certain point. However, in the US the rates of depression have dramatically increased since the 1960s while le levels of material prosperity are on the rise. The reason is perspective and values. We've become so accustomed to our blessings and come to expect them. There is a lack of appreciation. Also a sense of community support has been eroded with the decrease in unifying values such as the nuclear family, etiquette, patriotism and charity.

Happiness is ultimately your frame of mind and perspective. It is an intentional thought process. The city of happiness is found in the state of mind. Whether you think you can or think you can't boils down to your mindset. It is a choice. Remember the good times, stay optimistic and compare down. Things can always be worse. The key is to enjoy your material blessings and have an attitude of gratitude. Rituals like writing in a gratitude journal, verbally expressing prayers of thanks and giving charity augment feelings of satisfaction. It's not about waiting for the sun to shine, it's about dancing in the rain.

Here are some quotes about happiness:
"Happiness is not doing fun things. Happiness is doing meaningful things." - Maxime Lagace

"Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness." - Steve Maraboli

"If you aren't grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more." - Roy T Bennet

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here is a viral poem by Chanie Gorkin about how perspective impacts your mood. The complex poem contains a surprise. From top to bottom it reads negatively, but when read in reverse the message drastically changes.

The poem reads:

Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be attained
Only if one’s surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say
Today was a very good day

Now read it from bottom to top, the other way,
And see what I really feel about my day.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

Source: Code to Joy -The Rohr Jewish Learning Institute

Life Coaching: Qualities to Look for in a Potential Spouse

by | Oct 21, 2020 | Uncategorized

by Deborah Joy Block, Certified Relationship Coach, Matchmaker, Wedding Planner & National Wedding Dance Expert


At first glance finding the perfect relationship can seem daunting and complex but really it boils down to values. Singles sometimes get caught up in superficial criteria such as appearance, income, education or geography but all of those factors can change. A more permanent fixture is someone’s personality or character. Initial chemistry and lust may start on a physical level but lasting love is generally created by the way someone makes us feel and how they treat us. The following four attributes are crucial characteristics from which all other traits originate. If you meet someone with all of these traits there is a strong chance you will feel a love connection:

1. Kindness – Is the person generous, thoughtful, warm and sincere?
Questions: What charities are you involved with or donate to? Describe a random act of kindness that you’ve demonstrated?

2. Optimistic – Does the person generally have a positive outlook on life?
Question: Describe a recent challenge and how you handled it?

3. Intellectually Curious – Is the person open to learning new things and growing?
Questions: What books have you read lately? Have you taken any classes?

4. Spiritual – Is the individual moral and humble before their Creator regardless of a specific religion?
Questions: Do you believe in a power higher than yourself? Do you believe in the Ten commandments and the Golden Rule?

5. Respect - The way someone treats you and how they make you feel is extremely important. Respect is the foundation for any good relationship.
Observations: Do they speak to you and others in a respectful tone? Do they listen or interrupt? Do they ask questions or monopolize the conversation? Are they bossy and domineering or supportive and empowering?

If you meet someone with these qualities, hold on tight! You have found someone very special and the chemistry will likely ignite!